Turns out my old stories are pretty funny.

Of course, 12-year-old me at the time of writing it, did not intend it to be comedy. But it is, so…

Welcome to part 2 of me reacting and commenting on some of my old stories! Proceed with caution.

Okay so maybe you guys liked my last reaction post so much that I’m doing another one.

Okay okay yes I enjoyed laughing at my writing too, let’s be honest.

Today I will be reacting to a couple first chapters of two other stories. Mind you, I was about 12 when I wrote these, so keep that in mind as you read and cringe. The story will be in italics while my comments will be bolded and in brackets [like this].

Let’s go…

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Kylie and the Stolen Herd

Chapter 1

The First Horse Gone

[Here we go explaining the character’s whole life situation before we get into the story] There once was a girl named Kylie. She’s 13 and lives with her mom, dad, and younger sister Brittney. She has an Austrailian shepherd named Hunter, and a horse named Cloud. [For a long time I was obsessed with pairing my protagonists with her own horse and dog. Hey, if I couldn’t live my dream life then my characters would]

Her family owns a horse ranch, which had been passed down from her grandfather, and he got it from his father. It had been in the family for a long time.

When Kylie come into the house after taking care of Cloud, her father was on the phone. He smiled to her as she past him to go up to her room, she smiled back. [I can’t quite put my finger on it but the awkwardness of this sentence is just plaguing me]

Kylie had been working on home work for half an hour when her dad called her down. “Anything wrong?” Kylie asked. [STILL not making new paragraphs for dialogue. *sighs* Okay then] “Well.” He said. “Our neighbors just called. They said theres a horse theif [sPELLING!] around. They already lost three horses.” Kylie stood there wide-eyed. “Oh no.” she said. “What if they take Cloud.” [Question mark???] she shuttered at the thought. [“Shuttered”…m’kay…] “It’ll be ok.” Her dad said, hugging her. “Some men from town offered to drive by during the night acouple of times.” [“Acouple”, she says] He smiled his comforting smile, and Kylie felt better. “Ok, Dad. I’ll try not to worry.” She said walking back up the stairs to finish her home work.

It started to get darker sooner, so Kylie went to check on Cloud earlier. [Wait so the sun just decided to set sooner than usual??? *confusion increases*] She was alittle late this time. [For the longest time I spelled “alittle” instead of “a little.”] When she was walking past the large corral where some horses grazed, she noticed one was missing. [Okay hang on it’s dark out, just go in the corral to double-check before you freak out–] “Oh no!” [Too late] she yelled, running back to the house.

When she burst through the kitchen door, her dad looked at her from the top of his book. “One of the mares are gone!” She cried. “What do we do?” Her dad stood up and put his arm around her. “It’s going to be ok.” He said. “We’ll figure it out in the morning.” [His lack of concern is disturbing]

After dinner she went up to her room to go to bed. It was alittle early, but sleeping made her not think about how the mare was doing. Before she fell asleep she read a story from her book, to try to keep her mind off worrying about the mare. She knew how important the horses were to their bussiness. [And yet her dad said to wait until morning] She and was one of their best mare. [AND YET HER DAD SAID TO WAIT UNTIL MORNING] After she closed the book, she fell asleep.

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*face palm* Okay let’s just keep going with the next story…

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Robyn and the Mystery Horse

Chapter 1

The Story

There once was a girl named Robyn. [Wait, switching tenses in the same paragraph???] She just turned 13, and lives with her mom, dad, and 5 year old brother, Josh. [I used Josh many times for younger brother names. Genius creativity].

She lives on a ranch with lots of horses. [Again with the horses. Just get used to it, y’all] She doen’t own one of her own, but rides the old mare, Bessy.

Robyn looked at her big board. She just filled the last spot with another picture of the Mystery Horse. Her father told her a story of a horse along time ago. He said that he freed horses out of corrals and pastures, leading them away in the night. [Mysterious] Robyn dreamed of seeing him. Her father said he was all black, with a flowing black mane. [Creative descriptions here, watch out]

He told her that story when she was 7, but she stilled beleived it. [Who gon tell her?] Some of her friends laughed at her for beleiving somthing from when she was a little girl. But some of her friends beleived in her story [Oh my word if you say “beleived” spelled like that one more time…], like Joy and Kathrine.

***

Back when Robyn was telling Katherine and Joy the story, they didn’t beleive it at first. [Flashback time!] “That’s not true.” Kathrine said. “Sure it is.” Robyn replied. “Why would my dad tell me something that wasn’t true.” Joy opened her mouth to say something but decided not to. There was a long silence. [Let it be known that this was the first time I had included conflict between characters. Monumental occasion] “What if it’s true, Kathrine?” Joy said. “It’s not true.” Kathrine said slowly, but thoughtfully. “But what if it is?” Robyn was surprised that they changed their minds so quickly. [So are we, kid] “I think it’s real.” Robyn said. [Yes, we’ve established that] Then they promised eachother to work together to try to find the Mystery Horse. [So Joy and Kathrine went from not “beleiving” to making a Mystery Horse fan club]

The next day Robyn and her family went on a hour drive to her Aunt Amy and Uncle Mike’s house for a few days. Robyn stared out the window clutching the seat belt, with her family camera in the other hand. She hoped that she could catch a glimpse of the Mystery Horse and take a couple shots to show Joy and Kathrine. [For heaven’s sakes girl do you think about anything else?!] But, sadly, she didn’t see one horse on the way there.

She hopped out of the car and into Aunt Amy’s arms. “How are you!” [No no, it’s supposed to be a question mark] Aunt Amy exclaimed as she gave Robyn a big hug. “Great.” Robyn said smiling. “Hi Uncle Mike.” Robyn said to her uncle. “How was the drive?” Asked Uncle Mike. [Wow, no “hello” from the uncle] “It wasn’t to bad.” Robyn’s dad replied. They went inside and had a snack before unloading the car.

Robyn pulled her suitcase into the big room she and Josh were sharing. [The time jumps are giving me whiplash] She plopped onto the bed, it was very comfy. […just… *sighs*] Robyn looked at the pictures on the family camera. Sadly, she didn’t see any pictures of Mystery Horse. […because…you didn’t take any…because you didn’t see him…???]

After lunch Robyn went back up to her room to unpack. While she was putting some shirts in the drawer, there was a light knock on the door. “Come in.” Robyn said, putting the last shirt away. “Unpacked already, Huh?” Uncle Mike said, walking in. “I want to show you something.” Robyn perked up. Maybe Uncle Mike found the Mystery Horse. [#obsessed]

She followed him outside and toward the barn. He pushed the barn door aside and ushered her in. They walked down the isle [yes, wrong word] of animals and stopped by a pig pen. “Aren’t they cute?” [Not the first word that would’ve come to my mind. Maybe “bacon”?] Asked Uncle Mike as he admired the new baby pigs. Robyn sighed. “Yes, they are cute.” After holding one of the baby pigs, Robyn and Uncle Mike went back to the house.

Once inside, Robyn went back up to her room to draw more pictures of the Mystery Horse. [The girl needs to settle down about this already]

While she was drawing the legs, Josh came running in. “Did you see the pigs?!” He cried. “They’re so cute!” Robyn chuckled. “Yes, I saw them.” Josh jumped onto his bed and pretending to be a pig. Robyn laughed. “I don’t think Mom wants you acting like a pig.” She said smiling. Josh giggled. “Oops.” He said. “I forgot.” Josh jumped off the bed and went down stairs for a snack.

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That night Josh sleepily dragged himself into the room he was sharing with Robyn. Robyn was laying on her bed, which was right next to Josh’s, reading a book. [WAH??? You’re not obsessing over the Mystery Horse thing again??? Where’s your dedication?]

He sat there for a moment then asked, “Robyn, Can you read me a story?” Robyn smiled. She knew just what story to tell him [You don’t say…]; the story of the Mystery Horse. [WOW I didn’t expect that!] “Did I ever tell you about the Mystery Horse?” Robyn asked. Josh thought. “I don’t think so. [I am surprised] But is that what you draw pictures of so much?” [See, even he’s concerned] Robyn smiled. “Yes. Would you like me to tell you that story?” Josh snuggled up under his blanket. “Yes, please.” Robyn sat next to Josh.

She started from the beginning, and towards the end, Josh fell asleep. Robyn smiled, kissed him good night and crawled into bed and fell asleep.

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It’s a good thing these stories were accidentally funny or this post wouldn’t be here today. XD Gotta admit though, this series it turning out to be pretty fun. Part three, anyone?

What were your favorite things to write about when you were younger?